Gemma's Story

October 2019 our beautiful daughter Gemma @floatingflorista had her second routine smear test at the age of 28, she was home on leave from work for 4 weeks so it coincided perfectly, a week later she returned to work in the US where she was based, Gemma worked as a florist and head of department on a superyacht, a career that she was passionate about.

Two weeks after her smear test a letter came from our GP, it said that her smear test results had come back abnormal and they requested to see her again within 3 months, we discussed it on the phone and I told her it's probably showing abnormal cells, something that is very common and that I had myself in my early 20s, I told her how I had them treated and was and have been fine since and that I would say almost all my friends have had them at some point it's that common so not to worry too much.

We discussed her flying home for a few days to have another smear test at our GP surgery as she was worried about having it done in the US but due to her work schedule she couldn't take the time off to fly home so she went to see a gynaecologist in Palm Beach.

Three more Pap tests as they call them in the US and 2 biopsies later in February 2020 Gemma was diagnosed with with 'early stages' of cervical cancer… a complete devastating shock to all of us.

Gemma had no symptoms at all… she never had any period problems or anything what so ever not even an ache or pain that we could say may of been an indication something was lurking, she was extremely fit and health and was vary rarely sick so how can this be happening.

At the beginning of March 2020 just as the covid pandemic was kicking off worldwide I flew out to Miami to attend appointments with her and hear for myself from the doctors exactly what was going on.

Gemma was scheduled to go in for a cone biopsy while I was there which her doctor assured me would get rid of what was growing on the outside of her cervix.

The procedure went well, I stayed with her for a week where we carried on planning and talking about our dreams and plans for the future and places we wanted to visit together, we both love the US and constantly talked about states we wanted to visit and road trips we wanted to do, she was so happy to be based there for work.

Two weeks later when I was home and Gem was back at work on the yacht we had a 3 way call with her doctor.

The cancer was more developed than they originally thought, he told us he wanted to remove her cervix to stop it spreading and wanted to do it asap but by this time the whole world was in lockdown due to the covid pandemic so how was I supposed to get back there to be with her.

Despite trying to contact as many people as possible over the next couple of weeks it didn't happen, all the embassies and consulates who I needed to talk to were closed… no one was working, there was no way of me travelling to be with her.

On March 26th (my birthday) Gemma was driven the 3 hours back to Miami from Palm Beach where the yacht was moored to go into hospital by her best friend who was also her chief stewardess and her then boyfriend who also worked on the yacht.

Due to Covid the hospital was on lockdown so Gemma had to go in alone, it was breaking my heart being so far away from her and knowing how scared she was… all I wanted to do was be there to hold her and tell her she will be alright and that I'd be there right outside when she came out of surgery….but I couldn't, all we could do was talk on FaceTime.

From speaking with her doctor / surgeon before the surgery I knew she would be in there for around 2.5 / 3hours, he said he would call me when he was finished.

Just over an hour in he called, I remember saying to her dad that was quick but it wasn't to tell us he had finished and all was well it was to tell us that they had removed 23 lymph nodes from her pelvis area and 9 of them had cancer in, he wanted to perform a radical hysterectomy which meant removing her uterus and fallopian tubes, he said he can leave her ovaries and move them up and away from where they would be affected by radiotherapy which she would have to have after chemotherapy… at this point I couldn't talk, he was on loudspeaker and all me and her dad could do was look at each other, we both started crying while the surgeon was waiting for us to give him an answer.

He had called to ask permission to do the hysterectomy as he obviously couldn't just do it without either Gemma or us knowing!

He said if we can't give him permission he would have to bring her out of surgery, explain everything to her and then she would have to go back into surgery again.

We literally had minutes to make the decision… we finally said to him your the professional you do what you feel is the best for her, he said he was going to go ahead and will call again after.

That evening Gemma FaceTimed us, she was still out of it and didn't really have a clue what was going on, she didn't really want to talk about what had happened, she just looked at me with vacant eyes as I cried.

Gemma returned to the yacht to recover for 6 weeks before starting chemotherapy then radiotherapy, during this time I was still trying to get over to her but it was becoming more obvious as the days and weeks went on that the lockdown and flight bans weren't going to be lifted anytime soon.

Plans were made for Gemma's treatment to start back up in Miami (the yacht was in Key West at this time) so it meant travelling backwards and forwards or finding accommodation in Miami which would mean her being on her own, as you can imagine this was killing me and after 4 weeks of still not getting anywhere we had had enough, it was obvious I wasn't going to get back over to her so we started planning on getting her home.

Gemma arrived home at the end of April, our GP was aware of everything that had happened so had already referred her to the university college hospital london (UCH) when we knew she was coming home.

After check ups, more scans and tests we were told that the cancer was now at Stage 4 due to spreading through her lymp nodes, before planning her treatment they wanted to remove her ovaries that had been left in place In Miami, so in she went for more surgery, before this happened we asked if they could remove and freeze her eggs but was told that stimulating her ovaries could cause the cancer to spread even more than it had already so they we're reluctant to do it, they also said that they need to start her treatment asap as it had already spread in such a short space of time and until her ovaries were removed that couldn't start it.

After a few weeks of recovery Gemma began aggressive chemotherapy, she was scheduled in for 8hr infusions with 3 different chemotherapies for 5 months, they said they was throwing the kitchen sink at her as she was young and generally fit and healthy so said she would be able to take it… and she did.

The first day of treatment wasn't great, she was scared, didn't know what to expect or what was going to happen… I felt exactly the same!

The first visit to a chemo ward is very daunting and scary, there's no privacy, it's an open ward with all the patients either sitting in an arm chair or laying in bed hooked up to their chemo infusions, some people looked ok like there was nothing wrong with them but some looked very sick and poorly which wasn't nice to see, we both just looked at each other like rabbits caught in headlights, I was as scared and anxious as she was.

Gemma had decided beforehand that she wanted to try the cold cap to help save her beautiful thick long blonde hair from falling out, the nurses talked her through how it all worked and started setting it all up while I watched feeling so sick and scared for her and thinking it should be me going through this not her.

The nurses then talked her through the chemo procedure and hooked her up, within an hour she had gone to sleep, I sat and cried again while watching her breath like she was a new born baby again.

She woke about an hour later and said she felt fine, she even said the cold cap felt quite pleasant… the nurses couldn't believe she was so chilled with it all!

I went out for some fresh air and to call her dad and brother to let them know how she was and what was going on, I grabbed some lunch and went back not wanting to leave her for too long.

When I got back I found her talking away to the nurses about her job and life… absolutely fine.

After that first treatment I wasn't allowed in with her due to Covid, they had let me in the first time as she was so scared and distraught but she was now ok, she went in each time with her laptop and course work (she was always doing courses for work or floristry) her packed lunch and blanket and I would walk the streets for 8 hours as I didn't want to leave her there completely incase she needed me.

Walking the streets of London during covid when everywhere was closed was very peaceful and therapeutic for me and my time to try and process exactly what was going on… something to this day I still don't understand!

After 5 months of chemotherapy Gemma then started intense radiotherapy which targeted 3 areas, this was scheduled every day for 6 weeks with one chemo infusion per week, this treatment completely floored her, it made her so sick and poorly and as the days went on she got worse and worse which was heartbreaking for us to watch, she cried everyday because she didn't want to go to the hospital, she became so weak we had to pick her up to get her into the car every morning, when she came out she was sick all the way home, she would then sleep in between crying from pain and have to do it all over again the next day.

Everyday she begged us not to take her but she got through it and on the 23rd December 2020 she had her last treatment and came home for Christmas.

January 2021 she had another scan which showed NED (no evidence of disease)

Amazing… we was told the cancer had 'gone to sleep' which meant no more treatment and no more hospital for 3 months.

The new plan was to scan her and take blood tests every 3 months for the next 5 years and aslong as the cancer stayed sleeping she wouldn't need anymore treatment and could get back to her 'normal' life.

Gemma began slowly recovering, her hair was growing back, she started walking and practicing yoga again aswell as making plans to go back to work, everything was good.

In April her 3 month scan results came back showing 2 lesions on her liver consistent to the cancer she had… it was awake again.

On top of this my elderly mother who was in a care home that we hadn't been able to visit due to Covid had become very poorly and was put onto end of life care so we was then allowed to visit her.

I was sharing my time between taking Gemma to hospital appointments, still trying to process what was happening, looking after her and going to sit with my mum every afternoon.

I did this for 3 weeks until mum passed away peacefully in her sleep.

The next 6 months are a blur of loosing my mum, Gemma's hospital appointments and stays, various procedures, more chemotherapy and severe and relentless sickness.

From being the most positive, determined person Gemma was changing… she didn't want to talk to doctors and she didn't want to know what was going on, she told the doctors to only talk to me.

The only things she would occasionally ask or say to me was 'why is this happening to me, I just want to feel normal and get my life back' and that she was scared and would ask me if she was going to die.

The cancer was in her liver and spreading aggressively which was causing her problems, they performed a liver ablation to blast the lesions which caused even more complications and 5 days in intensive care (which was only meant to be a 24hour overnight stay).

In August we were told it had spread to her back.

Gemma had been in excruciating pain for a few weeks which was originally put down to the ablation complications but after another hospital admission and another scan they found the cancer in her Psoas muscles, the two muscles at the bottom of the back either side of the spine. She was now having to use a wheelchair because she couldn't walk far.

After getting the back pain under control with morphine September was a better month.

Gemma was comfortable so we were able to have some days out and make the most of the last days of summer, we spent days out at seaside towns with beach huts which Gemma loved… she had always wanted a beach hut.

On October 15th 2021 after being admitted into hospital again due to having a fall at home, worsening pain and sickness she had another scan, we were told the cancer was spreading quicker than the 2nd round of chemo was working and it was now in her brain… they had made the decision to stop the chemo because she was so poorly and told us there was nothing else they could do for her on the NHS.

The only option left for her was immunotherapy which isn't available on the NHS for cervical cancer (although available in other countries and here for other cancers).

It is available privately which her oncologist had told me about a few months before when discussing different options for her other than chemo but at an extortionate cost.

Gemma's friends and work colleagues had set up Go Fund Me pages and the money was coming in. We told the doctors we now had the money for it but they said at that time Gemma was too sick to take it. They said if we can get her stronger, eating more and keeping it down and walking again they would reconsider in 5-6 weeks.

That weekend plans were put into place to move Gemma from the hospital to a local hospice which was only 20mins from home and a much better environment for her to be in while rehabilitating and getting stronger for Immunotherapy.

Gemma didn't make it to the hospice, she passed away peacefully in her sleep on the day she was due to be moved 21/10/21 💔

Through the foundation my aim is to spread as much awareness as I can that there isn't always symptoms with cervical cancer.

We all know the symptoms that are always talked about but all young ladies and women need to know how even more important it is to have a regular Smear / Pap test. It's the only way anything developing will be detected if there are no other symptoms!

In the UK we don't start having our smear tests until we are 25 and then every 3 years.

In my and many others opinion who have been campaigning this should be changed

My personal opinion is that if a young lady is having periods, being sexually active and can carry a baby from when she starts her periods then she can have a smear test!

We know that the HPV vaccine administered in schools has lowered the amount of HPV related cervical cancer cases but Gemma's cervical cancer was rare, it wasn't related to the HPV virus which makes cervical screening from a younger age and on a yearly basis as it is done in the US a priority.

The UK should follow the US and other countries in doing this.